My Friend Is Not Unhappy… But She Sounds Like It.

I’ve known her for decades.
She has money, a successful family, married children… and three grandchildren.
Basically, she’s winning at life.


But when she talks?
You would think everything is falling apart.
Every conversation starts like this:
“Nothing is going well…”
“I’m so unlucky…”
“This is really bad…”

And I sit there thinking,
“Wait… what happened?!”

So of course, I go into emergency mode.
I listen carefully.
I give emotional support.
I try to comfort her.
I’m like a full-time therapist… for free.


But here’s the twist.
Later, I realize—nothing actually happened.
Everything is fine.
Perfectly fine.
And I’m sitting there like…
“Then why am I exhausted?”


And here’s the interesting part.
When the same thing happens to someone else, she says:
“Oh, that’s great! It worked out so well!”

But when it happens to her?
“It’s terrible. I’m so unlucky.”
Same situation.
Different story.


At this point, I started to question reality.
Then one day, I finally understood.
She’s not describing reality.
She’s describing her anxiety.


At some point, I realized something.
She was repeating “I’m unlucky” almost like a protective charm…
as if saying it could prevent bad things from happening.


She’s not unhappy.
She’s just preparing for problems… in advance.

And I?
I was reacting like there was a real crisis.
So every time she said, “This is bad,”
I emotionally joined her… in a problem that didn’t even exist.
No wonder I was tired.


So I changed my strategy.
Now when she says,
“Everything is terrible,”
I say,
“Oh… I see.”
And that’s it.
No deep dive.
No emotional investment.
No free therapy session.

Sometimes I just change the topic.
Or I turn to my other friend and ask something lighter.


And then I realized something important.
Some friends make you happy.
Some friends give you memories.
And some…  give you training.

Emotional survival training.


So now, I don’t try to change her.
I just protect my energy.


So you might wonder, why do I still meet her?
Well, I’ve naturally started to see her less often.
And when we do meet, there’s usually another friend with us—
someone I can really connect with.

And honestly?
Life is much more peaceful.